Rip Van You

Imagine you fell asleep some time in late 2003 or early 2004, and didn't wake up until today. And after you'd taken a quick shower and had a cup of coffee, you picked up a paper, and somewhere back around A14 you run across the headline telling you: "Barack Obama will Resign Senate Seat Sunday." 

What would you even think? How would you get over the fact that a guy named Barack had been a U.S. Senator while you slept? Would you assume he'd been forced to resign because his last name rhymed with Osama?

Hopefully there'd be a medical team on hand to resuscitate you after discovering the truth.