Tuesday, February 17, 2009

That's Wonderful!

I would've taken a picture of the delicious bananas foster I made myself tonight... but I eated it.

I hope that's sufficient lead-in to this video, which is both hilarious and informative. Chef Jean-Pierre is my new personal professor of cookery:

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Mandate & Injunction

I am compelled to echo Rick Hertzberg and my several friends (each more literary than I) who duly insisted that I put aside my novel and my New York Times and read Zadie Smith's piece in the latest NYRoB, "Speaking in Tongues."

Do it now, please, and tell me what you think.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

My Bicycles and Henry VIII's Wives

Yesterday morning, I rammed my bicycle into the front passenger side of a silver Mercedes Benz, which had taken a left turn in front of me (failing to yield). I had a nice soft landing on the hood of the Benz, complete with a Springsteen-style knee-slide (sans celebration).

The bicycle, however, was less fortunate, and though it succeeded in putting a little dent in the body of the Benz, both the main tubes of the steel bike wrinkled on the impact. I took it to CityBikes later, and the mechanics started getting emotional at the loss of such a fine and noble lugged steel frame bike, and then I started getting emotional, and then the mechanics began the write-up of what they called a "death certificate." *sob*

This was the fifth bike I've ridden in as many years.  Not a good record, I acknowledge.  No bike, I imagine, would want to be the next I choose.  But for any bikes considering the job, I draw your attention to the parallels between my bike ownership, and Henry VIII's experience as a husband:
Henry VIII: 
  • Catherine of Aragon: DIVORCED   (Couldn't provide a male heir)
  • Anne Boleyn: BEHEADED   (Ditto)
  • Jane Seymour: DIED    (Provided a male heir... but she was a sickly one)
  • Anne of ClevesDIVORCED   (Marriage became inconvenient)
  • Kathryn HowardBEHEADED    (Messing around all over town)
  • Katherine Parr: SURVIVED   (Four years of happy marriage before Henry ate it)
  • The Green Giant: DIVORCED (Gave it away.... it barely worked)
  • Zephyr: BEHEADED (Rode it into the ground.... then took it apart)
  • The White Waif: DIED (It was always a sickly piece of machinery)
  • Red Dragon: DIVORCED (I was moving to DC, it stayed Boston, we split up)
  • Red Deamon: BEHEADED (Executed at the hand of a cruel Mercedes)
  • ...?
I look forward to a long, happy marriage with my next bicycle.  Coming soon...

UPDATE: Thanks to brother George, who corrected my British royal history: Henry divorced Anne of Cleves not because it was "inconvenient," but rather because "she looked like the back of a bus."