Monday, August 04, 2008

Enormous States of America

Driving across the country, one gets a sense of the sheer vastness of the darn place. What a bloody pain it must have been to get around before cars or roads were invented. Likewise, how tricky it surely was to wage war without the speed of either information or transit that we enjoy today.

So we pose a new question to you, dear reader (especially if you happen to be a scholar of Civil War military tactics): How would the Civil War had gone differently if General Lee had been equipped with an iPhone? (Assuming he also had access to a functional 3G information network and an in-horse charger)

2 Comments:

Anonymous Matt said...

As a well-respected scholar of the Civil War myself, I am well-positioned to weigh in on this matter. Should General Lee have had access to an iPhone, the Union victory would, if anything, have been even more decisive. It is not uncommon knowledge that there is a robust, negative correlation between access to pornography and a man's general effectiveness in the work environment. Certainly given downloads at 3G speeds, General Lee would likely not have shown up to fight at all.

Also, beware the farmer's daughter Sam. We all know how that one turned out.

5/8/08 10:02 AM  
Anonymous George said...

HEY FOOL
i just got back from nols
and im cooler than you
and im going hiking with all yall next summer ok bro?

9/8/08 12:38 AM  

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